The funny thing about me and faith is that I have none. Just when I think I'm really steppin' out, I fall on my face. The slightest resistance and I pull back, when my first reaction should be to pray. Yet another reason to preach the gospel to myself again today... When will I learn?
A couple of months ago, I really prayed that we would be able to go to pre-field training in NYC in July. It just seemed perfect, so I signed us up on "faith". I gave God the stipulation: "Sell our house in May and we'll go". Not exactly. So, when the house didn't sell, I sadly canceled our reservation so we wouldn't owe a penalty and was discouraged. Why did my faith end so quickly? Why wouldn't it occur to me that God can work beyond the sell of my house and let us go anyway. Never even crossed my mind. Yesterday, it worked out that we'd be able to go to NYC in July, without the sell of the house. But, can the Donahoos go? Nope. I canceled the reservation May 30th. I feel like such an idiot. When will I learn?
We are embarking on the scariest, craziest thing we've ever done. We are going to raise support full-time, which means Trace can't work full-time anymore. We will live off part-time pay and a stipend from our support account and I'm scared. We still have a mortgage and not seeing an end to it. God has shown me He will take care of us, His way, without my stipulations. He is in control, has a plan and will be glorified. The Steven Curtis Chapman song God is God comes to mind:
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God
Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable for to Him and through Him and from Him are all things
So, please pray for us. Pray for wisdom and provisions and more faith. Pray for our children and that our house will sell- quickly!
7 comments:
O, girl...letting go and letting God. Sounds like such a cliche' but it makes sense, doesn't. I will pray for you.
Feelin' for ya. Big time.
You are awesome.
i love that you're my sister in Christ. i will definitely be praying for you guys...
Definetly will be praying.
I so admire you and Kim and Laura and others like you that step out in what really is faith, even though you are all good at showing us your weekness in it. I think your weekness shows the greater picture about your faith in that you take it seriously and understand who God is and what He is capable of.
Love your new header btw!
I love you, friend.
Oh, and ... it was no surprise to God when you canceled your reservation, and no surprise to him when events unfolded as they did yesterday. He's sovereign, faithful and powerful. Call MTW. If HE wants you at pre-field training in July, it'll happen.
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