Sunday, August 28, 2011

Reminding Myself of Past Lessons

Today I am having to reread posts to remind myself of past lessons. I need to remember how the Gospel speaks to these issues and try my darnedest to apply them...without mumbling. I am trusting in His promises today and trusting that He works all things for good.

This too shall pass, but not before it causes me to grow...

Friday, July 22, 2011

Extremists want UK towns to become Islamic states

Extremists want UK towns to become Islamic states

Read this article and be praying for the UK, its leaders and the residents of these towns!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Norley Lodge

There is a house just down from us called Norley Lodge. Its a little out of place on our street with a gate, camera and speaker. It is a huge curiosity to me, because it doesn't look extremely old and grand. There is a car there, but I never see a resident come out. There are ALWAYS one or two workers there, repairing things or gardening, and a permanent dumpster with tree clippings in the front. A work truck going in or out of the gate. Occasionally, the alarm will sound. Sometimes there is a light coming from the upstairs window. So, I try to imagine who lives there. Is it a wealthy invalid? A hermit? No one, they are just working on it? Unlikely, since I've been here over 7 months. Probably nothing that interesting in reality, but it is still fun to imagine as I pass it each day...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Still Stripping Away

Just when I thought I was getting a little bare, God finds more to strip away! The stripping away of my sinful self, my culture and what's ingrained in me, my comforts so I can trust only in Him. Wow.

We have been doing a bible study about what else- grace & the Gospel and how to apply it to our lives. Last week was on constructive and destructive conflicts and forgiveness. This week was on loving people, ahem, especially those you just don't like. These two studies have been good for me because as luck would have it, this is what I am being faced with at the moment. Dealing with conflict or loving others in your own culture is one thing, you know how to deal with it or avoid it if its too hard. You slide under the radar with most cases and it goes away. But dealing with those in another culture, its a bit trickier. And ignoring them and/or their sin is not loving them, is it?

I realized today how its been instilled in me that you avoid conflict at all cost. If someone bothers you, get away from them. That way, you don't have to be rude and it removes the problem, right? I don't talk about how you've wronged me to anyone, usually, because I don't even get that invested. I am a person who will dismiss you in a heartbeat if you rub me the wrong way, and because of that I don't get emotionally attached to people. That way, I expect them to do something stupid and I'm not disappointed.

That is wrong. I must strip away that part of me, that protective, impatient, ungracious part. We are called to love people-our friends and our enemies. And love is patient, kind, isn't prideful, not boastful, etc, etc... I should expect good things from people, knowing that they will potentially fail me, and have grace for them when that happens. Seek to redeem that relationship, not banish them from my presence. But how do you do this after 32 years of doing it the other way? Only by the Holy Spirit and having full confidence that if He has brought this to my attention, not only does He love me, but He will also follow it to completion. He must change my heart, give me love, patience, grace- all that is needed. After all, He had to have all those things to love me!

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 5:43-48

Friday, May 20, 2011

Wanted: Good Friends

My heart is broken after talking to Cully this morning. He has a cold and stayed home from school, so I planned to cancel the Friday Night ladies thing at my house. When I told him, he looked so sad but said ok. I asked what was wrong and he said " I love Friday nights. Those women are like my friends, the only friends I have that come to my house. We play games and I love it!"

So, needless to say, I am not canceling! I just gave him a hug and held back tears because I want my children to have good friends here. I hate to see them lonely. They are so friendly and love to be around other people! Please pray with me that we will meet a family with children that can come over and play! We all need good friends.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Too Close For Comfort

What do you do when you are stressed or trying to get your mind off something? Well, I bake. Its not good for the waistline, but its what I do. In the last week, I have gone through a big bag of flour, sugar and a tub of margarine! This speaks volumes! Well, this is a coping mechanism that's not great. I should run straight to my Father when I hurt or worry.

Trace and I are reading the book A Place of Weakness by Michael Horton. This one part hit me and I was able to more clearly see how I was feeling. During struggles, some people feel God is far away. I've gotten to a place where God feels too close. I know in my head that God uses struggles to grow you, strengthen you, to see His love and grace because let's face it, we don't see God in prosperity. We like to think that we will praise Him when good things happen and we might say thanks, but then we are distracted by the object and forget God. We seek God when we are in trouble. But for me, with so much happening these few months, this last blow seemed too much to bare. God was too close and I had to face Him... and trust Him. But I was afraid of what was around the corner, as if all this was a precursor to something even worse. I was flinching. I didn't want to feel this way because its not what I believe, its not where I live, and it certainly isn't something I've felt before.

This is where the rubber meets the road. Do I believe what I say I believe? Is Jesus enough? If I trust Him with my eternity, I must trust Him now. If I can look a sister in the eye after her world has been shaken and, with complete confidence, tell her God loves her and He will take care of her-I must believe the same for myself.

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

Sunday, May 8, 2011


I had a great thought when I was walking the other day: This place no longer feels foreign to me! When you're in a foreign place it feels, smells and sounds different. I knew everyday, all day long that I was in a foreign country until now, 5 months in, and I'm glad its starting to feel like "home". I type it "home" because I know its not, I still feel like an outsider and still not 100% sure what people are saying but I do feel more comfortable here. I have a routine and I recognize people in the village and say hello. Our house mostly has our smell.

These last five months have been the hardest of my life. I didn't think a life in missions would be paradise, but its getting a bit ridiculous! Every time I stand up, I just get knocked down, but I know Who's catching me. And He has a purpose for everything. That's what i've learned from support raising and my first few months on the field. Life is hard, it stinks actually. I am not really optimistic for the future, except I long for Heaven. That sounds a little harsh, so don't misunderstand me. I have joy in Christ and I have hope knowing this crazy, broken world isn't my home. And I want others here to experience Christ and ride this journey with us!