Reminding Myself of Past Lessons

Today I am having to reread posts to remind myself of past lessons. I need to remember how the Gospel speaks to these issues and try my darnedest to apply them...without mumbling. I am trusting in His promises today and trusting that He works all things for good.

This too shall pass, but not before it causes me to grow...

Extremists want UK towns to become Islamic states

Extremists want UK towns to become Islamic states

Read this article and be praying for the UK, its leaders and the residents of these towns!

Norley Lodge

There is a house just down from us called Norley Lodge. Its a little out of place on our street with a gate, camera and speaker. It is a huge curiosity to me, because it doesn't look extremely old and grand. There is a car there, but I never see a resident come out. There are ALWAYS one or two workers there, repairing things or gardening, and a permanent dumpster with tree clippings in the front. A work truck going in or out of the gate. Occasionally, the alarm will sound. Sometimes there is a light coming from the upstairs window. So, I try to imagine who lives there. Is it a wealthy invalid? A hermit? No one, they are just working on it? Unlikely, since I've been here over 7 months. Probably nothing that interesting in reality, but it is still fun to imagine as I pass it each day...

Still Stripping Away

Just when I thought I was getting a little bare, God finds more to strip away! The stripping away of my sinful self, my culture and what's ingrained in me, my comforts so I can trust only in Him. Wow.

We have been doing a bible study about what else- grace & the Gospel and how to apply it to our lives. Last week was on constructive and destructive conflicts and forgiveness. This week was on loving people, ahem, especially those you just don't like. These two studies have been good for me because as luck would have it, this is what I am being faced with at the moment. Dealing with conflict or loving others in your own culture is one thing, you know how to deal with it or avoid it if its too hard. You slide under the radar with most cases and it goes away. But dealing with those in another culture, its a bit trickier. And ignoring them and/or their sin is not loving them, is it?

I realized today how its been instilled in me that you avoid conflict at all cost. If someone bothers you, get away from them. That way, you don't have to be rude and it removes the problem, right? I don't talk about how you've wronged me to anyone, usually, because I don't even get that invested. I am a person who will dismiss you in a heartbeat if you rub me the wrong way, and because of that I don't get emotionally attached to people. That way, I expect them to do something stupid and I'm not disappointed.

That is wrong. I must strip away that part of me, that protective, impatient, ungracious part. We are called to love people-our friends and our enemies. And love is patient, kind, isn't prideful, not boastful, etc, etc... I should expect good things from people, knowing that they will potentially fail me, and have grace for them when that happens. Seek to redeem that relationship, not banish them from my presence. But how do you do this after 32 years of doing it the other way? Only by the Holy Spirit and having full confidence that if He has brought this to my attention, not only does He love me, but He will also follow it to completion. He must change my heart, give me love, patience, grace- all that is needed. After all, He had to have all those things to love me!


43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 5:43-48

Wanted: Good Friends

My heart is broken after talking to Cully this morning. He has a cold and stayed home from school, so I planned to cancel the Friday Night ladies thing at my house. When I told him, he looked so sad but said ok. I asked what was wrong and he said " I love Friday nights. Those women are like my friends, the only friends I have that come to my house. We play games and I love it!"

So, needless to say, I am not canceling! I just gave him a hug and held back tears because I want my children to have good friends here. I hate to see them lonely. They are so friendly and love to be around other people! Please pray with me that we will meet a family with children that can come over and play! We all need good friends.

Too Close For Comfort

What do you do when you are stressed or trying to get your mind off something? Well, I bake. Its not good for the waistline, but its what I do. In the last week, I have gone through a big bag of flour, sugar and a tub of margarine! This speaks volumes! Well, this is a coping mechanism that's not great. I should run straight to my Father when I hurt or worry.

Trace and I are reading the book A Place of Weakness by Michael Horton. This one part hit me and I was able to more clearly see how I was feeling. During struggles, some people feel God is far away. I've gotten to a place where God feels too close. I know in my head that God uses struggles to grow you, strengthen you, to see His love and grace because let's face it, we don't see God in prosperity. We like to think that we will praise Him when good things happen and we might say thanks, but then we are distracted by the object and forget God. We seek God when we are in trouble. But for me, with so much happening these few months, this last blow seemed too much to bare. God was too close and I had to face Him... and trust Him. But I was afraid of what was around the corner, as if all this was a precursor to something even worse. I was flinching. I didn't want to feel this way because its not what I believe, its not where I live, and it certainly isn't something I've felt before.

This is where the rubber meets the road. Do I believe what I say I believe? Is Jesus enough? If I trust Him with my eternity, I must trust Him now. If I can look a sister in the eye after her world has been shaken and, with complete confidence, tell her God loves her and He will take care of her-I must believe the same for myself.

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

"Home"

I had a great thought when I was walking the other day: This place no longer feels foreign to me! When you're in a foreign place it feels, smells and sounds different. I knew everyday, all day long that I was in a foreign country until now, 5 months in, and I'm glad its starting to feel like "home". I type it "home" because I know its not, I still feel like an outsider and still not 100% sure what people are saying but I do feel more comfortable here. I have a routine and I recognize people in the village and say hello. Our house mostly has our smell.

These last five months have been the hardest of my life. I didn't think a life in missions would be paradise, but its getting a bit ridiculous! Every time I stand up, I just get knocked down, but I know Who's catching me. And He has a purpose for everything. That's what i've learned from support raising and my first few months on the field. Life is hard, it stinks actually. I am not really optimistic for the future, except I long for Heaven. That sounds a little harsh, so don't misunderstand me. I have joy in Christ and I have hope knowing this crazy, broken world isn't my home. And I want others here to experience Christ and ride this journey with us!

When I Don't Believe

I feel afraid today. I've come to the conclusion that I'm afraid of life. I'm constantly afraid for my children, how this society will effect them, how I parent. I'm anxious about how my children will grow up, what will they think about Christianity? Are they seeing examples of authenic Christianity or legalism and rules? God is the perfect parent and He deals with me gently. Why do I want to lower the boom on others and not follow His gracious example?

I hate money, because when I don't have it I'm afraid I'll need it and when I do have it I'm afraid I'll mishandle it. I hate the thought of paying bills, saving for the future. Not because God hasn't given me what I need to do those things, but I the fear that one day I will lose them and have to look back and say "I should've done this" or "I should have enjoyed that more." I look to it to be my security, not a means to do ministry.

As I came upstairs to read and pray, to preach te gospel to myself again today, to remind myself of God's promises, I hear a John Piper sermon coming from Trace's office. ( I'll let you watch it because John Piper can always say things better than I can!) But not only do I not believe God will take care of me and my family, I also forget that He is going to give my children His Spirit. Just like I couldn't do it for myself, I can't do it for them. Just like I can't hold on to money and let it be my security. God is my security and He gives me money to use for ministry. Ouch. Oh, how my idols are so clearly seen...

Chester

Saturdays are reserved for family and we usually spend it venturing out to see and enjoy this beautiful country! Today we went to Chester, which is about 40 minutes away from Culcheth. Trace and I have been a couple times before, but we knew the kiddos would like it too! We walked on Roman walls from 70 AD, played in a Roman Ampitheatre, went through a church founded in 689 and saw ruins! We also ate two "American" meals and browsed the Disney store!

The craziest thing that happened was after taking 115 pictures of everything awesome, the memory card in my camera died! I was so bummed and we eventually found a Panasonic store to buy a new SD card. They said that my card couldn't withstand the low temperatures (it was freezing today!). So, I got a new card that is supposed to hold up in -20 degrees Celcius! The bad news is that ALL my pics from the morning were lost. The good news: my precious husband retraced our steps so I could retake photos at our favorite spots! The only thing we didn't do is go in St. John's Church again- founded in 689, still an active church! But, I can go back and take pics there again, since we live here! So, we got some good ones the second time around and here's a few...


Along the Roman wall

Walking on the wall


Part of St. John Church, founded in 689 AD, in ruins. The other part is still an active church!

Roman Amphitheatre


The funny thing about this sign is that its outside an upscale home decor shop. We didn't go in to get our free miracles and healing...

What a great quote on this building!

I Love to Tell the Story...

I am disturbed by the disconnect between parents and their children. There are subtle signs like little to no communication from the teachers about what the kids are learning. Only a homework sheet sent home once a week.
Today I went in to ask when lunchtime was, so I could eat with Ansley and possibly Cullen too, if he wanted me to. The teacher looked at me like I was crazy! "Why would you want to do that?" she asked,with her head cocked to the side. " Is there something wrong?"
I just explained that Ansley had been asking if I could and that was a very normal occurrence at our old school. Also, some girls have been teasing Ansley and she wants me there. So, I gave up on eating lunch, but the teacher said she'd keep an eye out for kids picking on her.

I wonder as I go to the school office to ask questions or speak to the teachers if this is unusual to them. Today I met with the assistant principal and she said they welcome parental involvement and its an open door policy, but I get the feeling it doesn't happen much. I am not trying to undermine the authority by asking questions, only find out as much as I can about what they are learning so I can make sure they are transitioning well and understanding. That's numero uno priority for me!

There are also bold signs, like unruly children and frustrated parents. Its hard to see families (especially Christians) where the children know little or nothing of the Gospel. People who feel defeated by sin and keep an orphan mentality. So, the younger generation does not see the victory we have in Christ, the hope of the Gospel! They see the rules they are unable to follow and don't understand grace. They may have more of a connection with their friends than family, and what do their friends believe? When did people stop telling the story to the next generation?
"6And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Deut. 6:6-7

I was thinking yesterday how our children are in the midst of the culture, even more than Trace and I. They are in the secular world most of the time, and without us there with them. So, what do we do, as parents of children being thrust into this almost Godless society? I pray like mad for them and talk to them as much as I can. I just have to trust that the Lord will guard their little hearts and minds. I will have to remember to always have the story to tell them...

Ladies I've Met

Pray for Katherine. She is a newly-single mom with two children, one of which is in Ansley's class. I was introduced to her at school and now I see her everywhere I go. It only took a couple of times chatting before she opened up about her life. She had to leave her husband, home and all her belongings in a rush around Christmas time. She's moved to a new house, new town and having to start over with her two children. She brings her kids here because its a good school, but she takes the bus from a nearby town. The school principal contacted someone from our church, so maybe they could help her and GFC has been able to. She hasn't come to our church yet, but its good that we have a presence at school so folks think of us to help when its needed.

Laura is my next door neighbor. I didn't meet her for several weeks after we moved in because, in good British fashion, she is very shy and reserved. She and her husband have an 8 yr old boy and a 5 yr old girl- just like our kiddos! Their daughter is actually in Ansley's class! Before school started we had only heard rumors kids lived there because we NEVER saw them!
One day after dance class, we walked home together and chatted as the kids talked and played and ran ahead. It was good. The next day, she waited to see if I wanted to walk with her. I thought that was HUGE! Last week, she let the kids play in our house and she came over later and had tea. We chatted for awhile. Its still awkward, sometimes we talk when we see each other, sometimes not. Soon, I plan to invite her to lunch or plan for the family to come over and eat. I pray that this will be great friendships for all of us!!

Free Time, Ideas, and a Rabbit Trail

It is 8:45pm. My husband is out with friends, eating curry. My children are in bed. I am in bed. *sigh* A night to myself so I can read, blog, watch TV, whatever I want! I choose to get under the covers and get online.

As I'm typing, there are so many things going through my head. Things I need to do, should have already done, things I'd like to do. Here's my list:

* I think I will go workout in the morning, then head straight to the library for their book sale!
* I really need to pay a couple of bills. I should do that. Right after the book sale.
* I need to go turn off the mp3. Ansley fell asleep listening to Act of Congress and I can hear it still playing...
* I need to find curtains for our bedroom. I shall look online tonight.
* I must plan a meeting for Children's Ministry! Eek!
* Thank cards. Thank you cards. Thank you cards. Thank you cards. Thank you cards.
* I should finish the blog I started two weeks ago about two ladies I have met at school, Laura and Katherine.
* Friday morning is parents' coffee morning at the school. I forgot last time, wearing workput clothes, no shower, icky. I need to remember so I can shower and at least look like a normal person, so people would want to talk to me!

Which makes me think about a little boy in Cullen's class. He asked Cullen the other day if he was a Christian. Cullen said yes and the little boy said he was too. I told Cully that he should make good friends with that boy, because there are probably few believers in his class or school for that matter! I thought that was so sweet!

Today in RE class (that's Religious Education) Cullen got so upset because a child in his class said some very offensive things about Jesus. The teacher took Cullen out in the hall to calm him down, because he spoke up and was upset by what the child said. She explained to him that people have different beliefs and said next time he can share what he believes about Jesus. This should be interesting...

Please pray for my family, my children, my husband, our ministry. Although we are adjusting well, its still hard and we are being tried and tested. We feel helpless to do what all needs to be done here, but have so much hope, because we know we are not doing it in our strength. Praise the Lord!

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things...

For those of you who know me, you know I love all things British! I love hot tea, castles, scones, Coldplay, accents, Princess Di, etc...the list goes on and on. I thought I would make a short list of my favorite things so far about living in England. This list will grow and change, but for now, in my limited experiences, here they are (and in no particular order):

1. Nutella in BIG, glass jars- This was a favorite of mine in the States, but its better here. I have it almost everyday, just spread on a piece of bread, fold it over and enjoy. I tell myself it gives me the protein I lack...

2. Hot tea- readily available anywhere you go! I LOVE this feature! Two sugars and milk please!

3. Old timey keys- This place is a giant clash of ancient and modern, and keys are just one example! I like using these old keys to unlock my doors, its just charming to me. The only other time I've used a key like this is to lock my cedar chest, just a novelty before.

4. Good customer service. Seriously, folks, even the teenagers that work at the cinemas are nice to you! The people at the stores use their British wit to break the ice and talk to you. I like that.

5. Kids in school uniforms. It looks nice and everyone is basically the same.

6. Very quiet, green place. Even though you are surrounded by people, you wouldn't know it. Its very quiet here. You hear the birds singing during the day and nothing at night. Its also very green, even in the dead of winter. So the birds are out in the trees right now and I like to watch them from my kitchen window.

7. So many photo opps! Everywhere you look is old, charming or different. The way I enjoy a place is by learning the history of it and taking pictures, and capturing its charming, beautiful or unusual traits.

8. Quick wit- I've never had much for Mr. Bean or Monte Python, but I love the quick wit of the Brits! They can instantly pick up on something funny about the obvious and say it. I wish I was a quick thinker, but I'm not. I can just enjoy those around me who are.