The journey to the mission field is strange and wonderful. The Lord is preparing us, that is for sure. The trials we are facing are hard, but we've finally caught on to why we are going through them. Most times, when bad things happen in our lives, we say "Why, God? Why that? or Why now?" We are figuring out why- this is the lifestyle God has chosen for us. And it is a lifestyle change, not a job. He's compelled us to uproot our family and go to our foreign country, and He will go with us. But, first, He must train us for such a battle. If we think its hard here in our own culture, where everything is familiar and our "safety nets" are in place, imagine the horror of trials overseas, if we are not confident He will provide or haven't been adequately prepared. How effective would we be? We can't take our idols with us to England, because they won't fit in our suitcases.
God has been showing us our idolatry lately. We didn't realize we had some of the idols. I knew I worshiped money and stability and pride. He's knocked those down, one by one. It hurts, but I know its because He loves me and He will replace them with something more wonderful and reliable. Now, He's starting to show me the idols I was hiding, like a reliable car and my material things I'm starting to get rid of. Those He has shown me this week, what's next? I haven't arrived yet, its a daily battle. I'll hide another pride statue away, but He always finds it. Let me tell ya! But what He gives back is so much better! He has provided through our church family in incredible ways! Not only does that show us how He knows our needs, but He compels others to give when they only know the surface of our situation and it speaks volumes to outsiders! What an encouragement it has been to my family back home when I tell them about the love of our church. "They will know that you are my disciples because you love one another."
Also, He has shown me the joy of giving again. I know that sounds cliche' this time of year, but I'll confess that since we've been in such a difficult pinch, its been so much harder to give. My sinful, faithless self wanted to hoard what I did have or sell something to make money or not give because we didn't have it. What little faith! This week I've been giving away all sorts of stuff, and I've loved it! Need something? Come on over!
The old mentality of "just pull yourself up by your boot straps" just doesn't apply to our situation these days. God is stripping away the old and bringing us the new and has set up our life in such a way that's condusive to support raising. Its hurtful and a little irritating when people say things like "You need to work more or harder" to get what you need or stop pursuing missions because its hard and maybe that's the Lord telling us not to do it. "If it were God's will, it wouldn't be so hard." Sure, tell that to Paul or Daniel or Jesus. I don't fault people for saying it, because I did too. But, it just shows that unless you've done this, you can't truly understand what it does to you emotionally, phyically, mentally and spiritually, and the time it takes.
I encourage you to pray that God will show you your idols and replace them with the truth and grace of the Gospel.
4 comments:
I think you and I need to sit and have a good talk. If you've read my latest blog you will understand why! Ginger, I am so blessed to know you, I continue to be amazed and humbled by the friends He puts in my life. What a blessing it is to know others who point me to Him on a daily basis.
I think the scare part is to ask Him and you have which does show us if we ask Him it may hurt but He will be there for you. Which is easier to say then to put into action.
This blog was SO encouraging and JUST WHAT I NEEDED. We are in the support raising mode and it is SO hard! Hard to depend on God, Hard to Trust He has your best interest at heart, and HARD to know He is shaping and molding us into what he wants us to be. I'm fighting the whole way!
We have had a hard month and it's just the first of the month. It's the first time we haven't had the money to pay ALL the bills right away. SCARY to me. Many tears but through all this the Lord has been giving to us in ways we can't ignore. Gift cards to the grocery store from a FUNERAL HOME - WHAT?!? Crazy stuff like that. Some one went out and bought all our kids Christmas - CRAZY! So, I try to be thankful for those things that I see are straight from His hand and that are encouraging but then I turn right around and morn b/c he hasn't given us "enough". I hate this flesh that enslaves us! It's miserable! In my mind I know God will provide but my emotions and heart are doubting. Pray for ME! Jason is estatic about what the Lord is doing and continues to do and I want to be there with him rejoicing that the Lord is faithful.
I didn't mean to unload this on you but I've been wanting to get it off my chest and since you did the post that encouraged me so - you are the lucky one who gets to hear it! Thanks for the post! Love ya!
It's always good to read your blogs -- they're honest and vulnerable and real. Thank you.
There's an amazing depth and complexity to you, Ginger, and I love that about you.
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