"Cully Wully" and "Ansy Pansy"

Mission: Possible?

This journey to a foreign mission field is very difficult for me. I have learned so much and I know that one day I'll look back on all of this and get a better idea of why God chose to do it this way for us. Today, I had a ton of different emotions. I have been excited, hopeful and nervous because we were supposed to get a call from Scotland today. I was trusting and then very worried because I realized I had a false feeling of security about a new job for my husband. (Trace is quitting his teaching job at the end of the school year and finding a job with benefits and enough $ is a source of anxiety almost everyday) To be real honest,I know the Lord will supply our needs, but its our wants and losing life as we know it that scares me! Then, Scotland didn't call. That was a bummer! That's the place we've always wanted to go and we've emailed them over & over, so we were thrilled when we would finally be able to talk with them! We both had hope that this was it-we'd get invited, go visit and start raising support! Nope! Not today anyway.
I locked myself in the bathroom to pray-away from kids-and threw a tantrum to God. I felt like my 4 year old, but I was honest about doubting Him and His perfect plan. He knows I doubt Him-no surprises there. Told a friend about it, then Trace came home with another job lead. So the cycle starts again...

We have other places that we are looking at-Portugal, London, Germany-but, Scotland or Ireland is where we desire to be. Are we holding out for the right timing, or is God telling me to look elsewhere and go minister to other people whom I might be afraid of, or is He telling us to stay in Alabama and be the nationals that reach their own people! I'm ok with any of that-JUST TELL ME!

Spider Webs

Someone asked me the other day what God has been showing and teaching me since my MTW evaluation several months ago. I kind of hesitated, then tried to come up with some spiritual answer. The truth is I have not really thought about it because so many crazy things seem to pop up to stress me. I have felt like we're under spiritual attack or God is just making sure I am not content or comfortable with many aspects of my life right now. How completely self-centered of me! In the same context, that person went on to tell me about spider webs and how its good for them to be torn down from time to time, because it makes them stronger when they are repaired & woven again. Right then, God revealed to me what He's been showing these past months. He has shown me that when hard, scary and stressful things happen in my life, He will provide and it will make me stronger. He provides money, grace, friends or wisdom to help me. Some of my biggest fears have actually happened, and the world didn't end! He didn't stop them from happening like I prayed for Him to, but when it did happen He brought me through it and made sure I knew He did it. I know in the back of my mind that God will provide, and I can tell that to a discouraged friend with confidence, but I still fear. God used this almost complete stranger to speak such truth to me and it was beautiful. I feel He is preparing me for the future and that's encouraging. That's when He feels like such a Father to me.

We have the flu!...again?

No, we did not get the flu shot! I am kicking myself over and over again for that one! Trace started feeling achy on Thursday night and Cully and Ansley had 103 temps on Sunday. So, after being to exposed to everyone possible in that time frame, I am sorry to say you might be next! We are all (except Trace, cause its been too long for him) taking Tamiflu and I pray it works! Not only is it terribly expensive, but me and Ansley just got over the flu at Christmas! I feel like the stupidest person and worst mother alive for not getting the flu shot for my babies! Today, I have felt achy and I CAN'T GET SICK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! Who will take care of them or me? How will I do my job? AAAAHHHHH!!! I hate this! (jumping up and down and screaming)
OK, now I'm done with my tantrum.

So, you think you know me?

4 Jobs I've had:

1. Sales Associate
2. Banker
3. "Domestic Engineer"
4. Children's Ministry Director

4 Places I've lived:

1. Woodbury, TN
2. Fairhope, AL
3. Nashville, TN
4. Moody, AL

4 things I'd rather be doing:

1. Travelling through Europe
2. shopping (with money to spend)
3. at the beach
4. drinking a breve at a coffee shop

4 things I'd watch over and over:

1. Dumb and Dumber
2. All episodes of "Friends"
3. Our wedding video
4. Hmm...I'll have to think about this a little more

4 things you may not know about me:

1. With hopes of going overseas as missionaries, we are currently in contact with 8 different countries
2. I can be very quirky about food(especially chunks of fruit, but the rules change constantly)
3. I hate to read, although I secretly wish I loved it (the phrase "curl up with a good book" has never been in my vocabulary)
4. I am really enjoying learning to cook from scratch (and I've noticed I bake more when I feel stressed)

Note: I wanted to have a "Favorite Foods" category, but I can't narrow it down to just four. However, I think anything chocolate and anything covered in cheese would just about cover it!

I had a Children's Ministry meeting this afternoon at my house. It was really great. I am working with the best group of ladies! We enjoy our time together and it is a very uplifting experience. I feel so inadequate at my job of Director, but everytime we meet I feel so encouraged and excited about what's going on! We accomplished so much today and they have so many wonderful, creative ideas! It's so neat to see the different gifts God has given us and how they can all work together! It's very encouraging to see that these ladies love the children, have a desire to reach out to our community and take so much time out of their busy lives to focus on the ministry God has obviously called them to do. Otherwise, they would not be willing to do all this! Just when I felt completely overwhelmed, out came all these great ideas (none of them mine) and I felt such relief. God is so good and the body of Christ is a wonderful thing!

I had the hardest time coming up with a name for my blog. I wasn't going to even have a blog. My friends all do and I love reading them, but I wasn't sure I had anything to say that I wanted posted on the internet. But, the more I thought about, the more I wanted one. I feel this could be something just for me. Seems like sometimes I forget I have a personality, thoughts and interests. They seem to get lost somewhere between correcting my children, cleaning and figuring out what to make for dinner.
I thought of lots of names, but settled on Amazing Grace because it is the most beautiful thing I know. It is beautiful to me for so many reasons, but they all come back to one reason-the grace I've been shown by my Lord. My daughter's middle name is Grace, because I want her to be reminded everyday of God's grace. Amazing Grace has always been my favorite hymn, even before I understood what it meant. I sang it to my babies while they were in the womb, and it still comforts them even now! To me, I think of grace and its beauty like closing your eyes and taking a deep breath of fresh air. That's what I hope this blog will do for me, too. When I'm done writing, I hope I won't over-analyze what I wrote, but take a deep breath and think "That's what I wanted to say."